No bells no whistles...

Something that has fascinated me for quite some time is how strange we can look to ourselves in photos. We are often our harshest critics when it comes to looking good or not in photos. Our insecurities come flooding in like our sense of self depends, more than it should, on how we look to others. I guess it can depend on our 'social status' too. Whether we're doing our best to be as attractive as possible to others whilst we search for a partner, or whether it's our wedding day and the photo will be virtually immortalized amongst friends and family!

So, to buck this trend, and to be a little 'cathartic' by confronting myself with, well, myself, I've decided to post some not so great photos of me here. Yep, warts and all. I'm going to shed my self consciousness here and now. Okay here goes:

Me on the couch, crocheting. Phew, that wasn't so hard. This is a good start and I feel okay about this. You know what is good about this exercise? I have a terrible habit of depending on the opinions of others to determine my sense of self worth, so freeing myself up like this ,and exposing the cracks, bumps and bruises in my 'social armour', is proving good for me. Okay next photo....

You know what. I just stopped myself from uploading a photo because I thought it was just too ugly! So, now I'm going to make myself do it. Grrrrr. Attack!! heheheh.....


Okay, it's done. From Dad's birthday last year. I'm feeling a little bolder. I might just post a drawing of me now that I have hated for a long time. An old boyfriend drew it when I was about 18 - Mum's kept it all this time, but I think it's horrid. The only reason I have a photo of the picture is because I used it in Keri Smith's 'Wreck this Journal' on the page where you add an ugly picture. So, here it is, in all its hideousness:


Okay, I'm going okay here. This is a good process to go through. Facing my insecurities head on!

This last picture is beautiful. And it's beautiful because I'm in it. It's also beautiful because so is my darling Nanna who I adore and we're standing together, arms around each other, posing happily. THIS is what pictures are about. Not about what we look like, but about the capture of a moment that won't be round again, the capture of people who won't be around forever, and the creation of a treasure that will always remind me of how close and loving my family is....


This post has been really cathartic for me, much moreso than I thought it would have been. I'm now choking back tears and feeling really blessed that I am able to take photos of myself with my family, to keep us close in affection and sentiment when we're located so far from each other these days. Nanna I love you. This picture brings me such joy and pride, which is so far beyond anything I was feeling at the start of writing this post.

With love from beneath my 'armour',

Dayle