So, want to see some things that made me LOL? Here they are...
Monday, November 04, 2013
So, want to see some things that made me LOL? Here they are...
Monday, March 19, 2012
Recently a person close to me told me that I had been upsetting them in a number of ways. They revealed this only after I noticed that they were clearly reducing contact with me and conversations were getting thinner, cooler. So asked them if I had done something wrong - I was not prepared at all for the response I got.
I won't go into details, but to sum it all up I had been judgemental, interfering, comparing myself to them, not supportive, and my moving so far away from them hurt them. It was a big, harsh, slap in the face for me to know I had caused that much grief. So why would this person want to continue to be friends with me after all I've done to them? To be honest, I'm not sure. But I know that right now I am not feeling like I've received the 'greater message' from this experience. I feel more than ever very angry with myself for being.... well, myself.
I am constantly at war with who I am. This is due to a 'delightful' combination of the following:
- Generalised Anxiety Disorder
- A strong sense of humour
- Vibrant extroversion
- Being a sensitive soul
- Intelligence, and
- Poor verbal brakes, or 'foot-in-mouth disease'.
If only I got exercise from all the ducking and weaving I do in my life, I'd be buff as can be! But seriously, if only I could get a stronger grip of my social reins and be able to just enjoy myself when in the company of friends. After all, they matter to me, so why should I hurt them? Is unintentional a good enough excuse?
How do I toughen up? You know, I bought a cheap cowboy hat a few months ago, nick named it 'Gusto the Great' and vowed to wear it a lot, to give me social confidence. I've never worn it outside of the house, because I have never felt worthy of it or that it might give me too much gusto and I say the wrong thing!! Silly, huh.
So I'm working on my toughness, rein pulling, and social graces ....and juggling saucepans, and tap-dancing one legged, and speaking Swahili backwards, and balancing an ice-cream on my nose, and building a dog trapeze, and....... (heehee!!!)
Friday, December 02, 2011
I wrote this fractured fairytale for my work's Christmas party. There were all sorts of great costumes for this theme, such as "S&M" Queens, cross dressing Snow Whites, punk smurfs, and "Malices in Wonderland". Great fun. Here's a piccie of me and hubby all dressed up for the party. He's a Fairy Godfather, of course....
And here's the story I wrote for the fairytale competition. Enjoy!
"Dentinia was once a sweet, innocent tooth fairy, flying around, collecting baby teeth from little darlings and leaving behind gold coins, gift certificates, and pre-paid mobile phone credit vouchers. Then one day, the service was privatised and expanded into a wholesaler of teeth who sold them for authentic looking dentures, ground calcium for vitamin pills, and the small rattling sound in cheap plastic toys.
So with 90% overseas ownership, budget cuts (including the coffee. WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!), a company board full of stuffy ex-private school knobs, and shareholders moonlighting as grey nomads, pressure to meet daily targets pushed Dentinia over the edge!! Dentinia snapped like a loose tooth in a toffee apple. For a while drinking and gambling took the pain away. Yeahhhhh!! Clocking off at 4am she'd head to the 24 hour pokies venue, have a midori, soda and green tea (a fairy cocktail known as "Fairy's Wee") and assume the 'pokie zombie' pose.
And if management's tightarse approach to "fairy resources" wasn't enough to drive the poor fairies to stealing single socks out of washing machines and driers, the kids these days were getting cheeky. One little girl woke up, saw Dentinia and demanded more money than that "shitty dollar you think will actually buy something these days". The brat went on to say her Dad's a dentist and he earns lots of money. She knows what teeth are worth, blah blah, whine whine. So, after torturing the girl by threatening to dismember Justin Bieber until she promised to take the dollar coin and go the **** to sleep, Dentinia was hit with the perfect plan. Why stop at baby teeth. Why not diversify and set up a little side affair for herself. GOLD TEETH.
Unlike the other pooncy fairies, who often got knocked and bruised by pedestal fans, flying Wii remotes, and random farts from overstuffed humans, Dentinia was tough. She had an extensive tool collection and she knew how to use it: Dental equipment (for HORSES!), angle grinders and mega-drills, spring loaded g-clamps for 'difficult clients', pliers of all shapes and sizes, and an industrial supply of Novocaine Forte. And not only that, she realised she had an acute sense of smell that could detect the odour of gold reacting with halitosis from a mile away, turning her into a salivating, twitching wreck: she had become an aurophile. Addicted to gold, Gold, GOLD!!!!!!
At first she would target people who slept with their mouths open especially, because their snoring provided the perfect cover for Dentinia's angle grinder to loosen that precious gold tooth. But since she'd developed a three ounce a day gold habit (snorted, smoked, rolled, injected, suppositories, cooked in brownies - you name it...), she needed MORE!!
No one is safe from the voracious gold fever that has possessed this once adorable petal of a fairy. She's gone mad with lust for a precious metal and will stop at nothing, NOTHING to satisfy her hunger. So, watch out. Dentinia's gonna getcha!!! MWUHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!! (Tell that one to yer kids, I dare ya!!)"
Festive cheers to you all!!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Dear future generations.
I really hope you have learned to value those things around you that you do not directly benefit from or 'own'. I also hope you have learned that a duty of care to the environment and its inhabitants of all kinds is more important than your accumulation of wealth and material items. That basic needs, such as good health, clean drinking water, clean air, sufficient shelter, subsistent & dependable food sources, and a sense of basic comfort, security and warmth are the only things you truly need in this world. Everything else is a gift from the earth that you are not entitled to: but if the earth allows you to have it, then you should treasure it greatly, rather than dispose of it indiscriminately, or extract it from the planet whenever or however you feel like. Think beyond your own self to those things that cannot speak for themselves and consider them as more significant and worth preserving than your own life. And the earth will thank you by simply being its wonderful, generous and intriguing self.
And I will thank you too.
It is tough to strike a balance in today's society between our wants and our needs when there is so much out there to take in, sort through, and decide upon. We are bombarded, and we all make choices that harm the planet, myself included. Despite the directness of my letter, I know that many people are doing so much to help the planet from deteriorating at the hands of humans. But there is more we can do. Challenge our addiction to convenience: wanting things now, not wanting to go without, and disposable items. Challenge those businesses and community or national leaders who do not show respect for the environment. Speak up to affect change. Challenge the reasons why such inequity in this world persists.
Inequity and poverty are perceived to be one of the greatest hurdles to achieving environmental sustainability, yet there is such obscene wealth in this world. That those two can co-exist shows an unfortunate side of human nature. The haves, and the have nots - and never the twain shall meet.
A simple line from a song in the musical 'Les Miserables' keeps playing in my head, particularly with so much uprising from the people of this planet against self serving controllers of power and information: "Can you hear the people sing, singing the songs of angry men..." We are singing, more and more loudly, more strongly and passionately, and with more concrete facts to support both claims of environmental destruction, and proof that renewable and sustainable alternatives do work.
So please, consider resilience, resourcefulness, persistence, and community spirit your closest allies. Keep up the hope and determination. And never lose sight of the simple things this planet provides for us.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Recently a dear friend of mine had a hysterectomy. Just the womb. So, another friend and I decided to have a womb party for her. Give it a good send off. There was cake and lollies, coffee and LOTS of giggles. I decided to go a step further and get creative. Here's a picture of the card I created for her:
My friend decided to have her womb removed because it causes her too much pain and distress. A big decision to make, and not made lightly I assure you, so it was really the last resort for my friend who suffers enough from other conditions without this compounding things. To add to my little bit of art I also wrote a poem . I wanted my friend to celebrate the lighter side of her situation, to laugh and affirm that what she was doing, albeit a hard decision, was the right one for her. Here it is:
My dear friend loved them both! I'm quite chuffed. She's such a gorgeous person and deserves as much happiness as she can get, after being on quite a rough road through her life.
And, of course, a party's not a womb party unless you have a WOMB CAKE!!!
Couldn't help myself here. Bit of fun. So, my dear friend cut the cake and we all feasted and laughed really hard. Such great fun. She's still in hospital but recovering quite well despite being very sore. Luckily they could do the operation in the 'simplest' way and didn't have to cut her open. I'm really proud of my friend in that she made a really hard decision that is going to change her life for the better. Good on her!
Lots of love
Sunday, July 17, 2011
So, to buck this trend, and to be a little 'cathartic' by confronting myself with, well, myself, I've decided to post some not so great photos of me here. Yep, warts and all. I'm going to shed my self consciousness here and now. Okay here goes:
Me on the couch, crocheting. Phew, that wasn't so hard. This is a good start and I feel okay about this. You know what is good about this exercise? I have a terrible habit of depending on the opinions of others to determine my sense of self worth, so freeing myself up like this ,and exposing the cracks, bumps and bruises in my 'social armour', is proving good for me. Okay next photo....
You know what. I just stopped myself from uploading a photo because I thought it was just too ugly! So, now I'm going to make myself do it. Grrrrr. Attack!! heheheh.....
Okay, it's done. From Dad's birthday last year. I'm feeling a little bolder. I might just post a drawing of me now that I have hated for a long time. An old boyfriend drew it when I was about 18 - Mum's kept it all this time, but I think it's horrid. The only reason I have a photo of the picture is because I used it in Keri Smith's 'Wreck this Journal' on the page where you add an ugly picture. So, here it is, in all its hideousness:
Okay, I'm going okay here. This is a good process to go through. Facing my insecurities head on!
This last picture is beautiful. And it's beautiful because I'm in it. It's also beautiful because so is my darling Nanna who I adore and we're standing together, arms around each other, posing happily. THIS is what pictures are about. Not about what we look like, but about the capture of a moment that won't be round again, the capture of people who won't be around forever, and the creation of a treasure that will always remind me of how close and loving my family is....
This post has been really cathartic for me, much moreso than I thought it would have been. I'm now choking back tears and feeling really blessed that I am able to take photos of myself with my family, to keep us close in affection and sentiment when we're located so far from each other these days. Nanna I love you. This picture brings me such joy and pride, which is so far beyond anything I was feeling at the start of writing this post.
With love from beneath my 'armour',
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Today I thought I might share a little story with you, which might help you see a lighter side to things that happen in your life that go beyond a simple upset. The disturbing things in life that can leave us feeling unsafe or vulnerable...
When I was in my teens, my parents discovered unexplained footprints outside their bedroom window. They raked it over & avoided it and the footprints reappeared. So, my adorable Step-Dad set up camp one night just round the corner from that window and waited.... Sure enough in through the garden creeps our neighbour, Ted. My Step-Dad waited for a bit then charged around the corner, large torch blaring, yelling "WADDA YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!!???" Well, Ted freaked out and tried to run up our driveway which was gravel. He spun a few times, made it out onto the street where my Step-Dad threw the torch and got the perv right in the back. He was reported to the police and it never happened again. Anyway, the punchline to the story is this limerick which my Step-Dad wrote afterwards:
There was a young fella named Ted,
Who listened to people in bed,
One day at the blind,
He was caught from behind,
By a torch that was aimed at his head!
So, sometimes humour can be a great way to diffuse the intensity of how a situation made you feel. It can help to heal and bring you back from the fear to a place where you regain your personal strength, and it can reduce the perpetrator from any position of power over you to one of lowly pity and sharp dismissal of their impact on you.
So, I hope you find some solace (and a bit of a laugh) from my post.